As a busy parent, you have two ways to look at s*x. One: WTF? Another person wants to suck at my boob? Or two: Get. It.
Yes, there is no time; yes, the baby might wake up; yes, you’re tired AF. But hey, try and think about it this way: The lack of time? Decide that it’s “urgency.” The need to be quiet? It’s sneaking around — exciting! The baby spit up on your shirt and you literally have no idea how long it’s been there? That’s … well, just take off the damn shirt and be done with it.
You must get busy and nap time is almost over!
All Hands on Deck
If you’re a very new parent, you might be a like skittish about P-in-V (I mean, damn, a big-ass baby head just came out of there). In fact, many health-care providers recommend waiting four to six weeks before getting back in the saddle … but that doesn’t mean your s*x drive disappears during that time. Now is the moment for some mutual masturbation. Lie on your backs and hold hands, using the other to, um, attend to your own needs. Talk dirty, and try to get each other hotter and hotter. It’s a gentle way of easing back into s*x and figuring out how much stimulation you can handle.
Duck and Cover
The toddler is napping. And it’s been a really, really long time — you are beyond craving each other. But the kid might wake up any second. Hop in bed under the covers and get in a spooning position, curling up more than usual into a fetal position to take him in deeper. Face the door so you both can keep an eye out to see if the coast is still clear. And if it isn’t, the covers will buy you time to throw together your story about how “Mommy and Daddy were having nap time too.”